Being Loved
by MomofPhoenix
Summary: Penelope is saddened by the prospect of spending another Christmas alone. A surprise visitor shows up, and she discovers what her Mom meant about being loved.
1. Chapter 1

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

This is just a little one shot that wouldn't let my mind rest. I do have one more chapter of Visitor planned and will have it up next week. May you have a wonderful holiday season, no matter what you celebrate, and a very happy New Year.

 _ **Being Loved**_

 _"They say that falling in love is the greatest accomplishment in life; however, I believe that overcoming the fear of letting yourself be loved is greater."_ My Mother told me that when I was just a rebelling teenager. I had been full of anger at that point in my life. She wouldn't tell me anything about my birth father or what happened with him. I had hated her for it.

Two years later I regretted that emotion. I lost my entire family in a single blow. I missed curfew and my parents went looking for me. They never found me. A drunk driver took their lives in an instant. My brothers still blame me for it. I haven't seen or spoken to them since the funeral. I was no longer allowed to be part of the family. I've been alone ever since.

Christmas is the worst for me. It use to be my favorite time of year. The decorations, the feeling of hope and joy, and the love I would feel just being in the presence of my family made it all the better. The world felt like a better place. Now, I spend it alone.

My best friend, Derek, would call me to wish me a Merry Christmas every year. I always send cards and small gifts to my BAU family, but I never spent it with anyone. It hurts to much to see all of them happily settling down, even Reid had someone to spend it with as well. I admit to being slightly jealous of each of them. Our little family had so many changes this year, and I almost didn't do anything for anyone at all.

There are no cases this year, so we were given two weeks offline, barring any emergencies. I didn't care. I would rather be in my office keeping busy, but it wasn't in the cards for me this year.

I was startled out of my pity party by a loud knocking at my door. I sighed and looked out of my window before getting up to see who was visiting me. It's Christmas Eve and I wasn't expecting anyone.

When I opened the door, I was surprised by my unexpected guest.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, very confused. The sight of the person standing before me had me slightly alarmed.

They chuckled before they replied, "I needed to see you. I needed to see if that connection we felt was real, or just wishful thinking on my part. "

He swept me up into his arms and kissed me. The emotions he was pouring into it had me amazed. Everything I had dreamed of and feared, was being communicated in a simple kiss. It was full of loved, longer, and hope. I quickly responded with the same heartfelt kiss.

We soon parted from lack of oxygen, both of us panting. The surprise must have been evident on my face. He cupped my cheek and gently rubbed his thumb over my now swollen lips.

"Please tell me you feel it too," He whispered softly.

"I never thought I would. I certainly, never thought you would feel it too."

"Will you pack a bag and come stay with me for the rest of our down time? We can take it slow. Actually, I would prefer to take it slow. I want to learn more about you. I want to tell you everything about me, even my secrets."

I nodded, almost shyly. Men like him, don't normally go for women like me. It made me slightly nervous. Once bitten, or rather shot in my case, twice shy. I made my way to my bedroom to gather my things and he followed. It was almost as if he was afraid if he lost sight of me, I would be gone. There is something there that I yearn to have. A feeling bubbling up from the depths of my soul.

When I was done, he took my bag and with the other hand held mine. I felt something shift inside me. It was as though all was right with the world now. I felt like I did as a child with my family.

We got to his car and he took care of my bag and helped me into the passengers seat. As he leaned to buckle the belt, I saw the love reflected in his eyes. I was in awe by it. He leaned in and kissed me again. It was just a small peck on my lips, but it was still just as powerful as that first one.

The drive was a twenty minute one. The area wasn't really familiar to me, but it was beautiful. The snow covered everything so gracefully. I was enjoying the Norman Rockwell feel to it when we pulled up to a two story single family home. The decorations were perfect, not over the top and not understated. It felt like I was coming home.

When we pulled into the garage, I could hear hi dog barking in excitement. He took my things inside and I followed, taking everything in. The tree and lights, even the beautiful ceramic nativity scene.

He gave me the nickle tour and made hot chocolate and pop corn. We sat on the couch and snuggled into each other with soft Christmas carols playing in the background.

"Penelope, I'm falling in love with you, and have been since we had that talk in the elevator. Will you give me a chance? Will you let me show what it's like to just be loved by someone?" He asked.

"Yes, Luke, I will. I think it's time to face my fear and let go. I want to let myself love you, and just to be loved."

With that single answer, I knew what my Mom had meant. It was time to just let go and be loved for who I am. It was time to really be part of a family again.

A/N Not really sure where this came from, but my muse seems to be in an odd mood. I hope you enjoyed it and if there is enough demand for it, there may be one more chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

 _ **Being Loved**_

I am staying in his guest room. Although, we spent the entire night sitting on his extra comfy overstuffed couch. I can honestly say that I was never this relaxed around anyone. He put me at ease better than I ever thought I could be.

We both finally went to bed around four in the morning. I slipped off into dreamland with a smile on my face. I couldn't help but think that this was the feeling that my mom had talked about. This absolute acceptance of each other. There was no need to hide behind by my shields. No need to flirt outrageously, or try to make someone feel as uncomfortable as I do in my own skin.

When I woke, I found it was a little after noon and I could smell coffee brewing. I made my way towards the smell and was enthusiastically greeted by his dog, Roxy. He had told me that she was his certified service dog. She helps to calm him when he has flashbacks from his time in the Rangers and when he was part of the fugitive apprehension unit. He had seen a lot, and felt so much guilt over many things.

I didn't find him in the kitchen, but availed myself to the coffee that was ready. I had just savoured my first sip when he startled me.

"Good Afternoon, Beautiful," he whispered into my ear from behind. I jumped, and my hand clenched at my chest reflexively. I barely contained my gasp.

"You could give a girl a heart attack, Handsome." I set my cup down and turned around in his arms, wrapping mine around his neck. Standing on my tip toes I pressed a light kiss to his lips.

"I don't want to do that. I only just got you."

"I plan to be around for a long time."

"Good," was all he said before he returned the kiss.

A few moments later he pulled away with a sheepish grin as his stomach growled, announcing it's need to be feed.

"Why don't we grab some sandwiches for lunch and then we can curl up and talk some more. There are a few things that I think you should know about me that I didn't get the chance to tell you about last night."

I hesitantly nodded my head. I was a little worried about where this would lead. I could only hope that I wasn't wrong in the way I was feeling. We pulled together the items we needed and I couldn't help myself, I kept stealing glances at him. In some ways he reminded me of Derek. He was loyal, almost to a fault, he was handsome, and kind. He held a maturity to him that made me me childish. I know he's only a few months older than me, but it honestly felt like eons. He is extremely smart, not Reid smart, but he held a knowledge of life in his kind eyes. A worldly wisdom, if you will.

After we finished eating and cleaning up our small mess, he took my hand and gently lead me back to the couch. He lit a fire in the fireplace, and that's when I realized that he didn't have a tv or any electronics in this room. It felt more like a intimate setting then a family room. It felt cozy, it felt like home. When we sat he turned towards me and took both of my hands in his. I could see the fear he was trying to hide behind a blank mask. I tried to pull my left hand away so that I could cup his face, but he held on a little tighter.

"There are things in my past, that will haunt me for the rest of my life," he began. "I need you to know about them from me. I don't want you to have to do a search on me and find them. I want...no, I _need_ , to be the one to tell you. Please, just listen to me. When I am done, if you want to leave, I'll take you home. Okay?"

I nod and wait for him to begin. I watch as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. It looked like he thought the world was going to end.

"When I graduated from high school, I was not in a good place. I was in and out of the system from the time I was born until I was ten and my parents both overdosed in front of me. I made each and every foster family from that point on out to be my enemy. I would get involved in heists, drugs, turf wars you name it and I did it. My cousin, who is two years older than me, joined the military and I followed. I have always looked up to him. We shared some similar life experiences and I saw how well things went for him once he joined." His jaw flexed and he seemed to get lost in a memory. Roxy whimpered and nudged up against his leg.

He chuckled little bit and rubbed her ears before whispering something to her. He smiled and she wagged her tail. Whatever dark place he had gone to, she pulled him right back. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. Something terrible must have happened.

"Carlos and I were sent on a mission. We were in South America and both captured. Our torture had profound effects on both of our lives. It made him harder. He just retired from the Army not too long ago. He met the woman of his dreams, but is terrified that something will happen to her because of him. He runs his company like it's a military base, he's not the fun loving man that I once knew. When I found out that he has known this woman for six years and still pushes her away at every turn; I knew that I didn't want to be like that. I had to embrace the fact that I am still here and alive. I had to know if you felt the fireworks that I did when we are near each other. I no longer want to be the hardened and bitter man like him."

I let out a soft cry. I couldn't help but feel the pain he felt. I understood what he was telling me about his torture without him actually telling me. I understood that there were many things he couldn't really say because of confidentiality and clearances. I also knew, in that moment, that he held my heart deeper then I ever knew was possible.

 _ **A/N This story has the potential to go a lot further. If I find that there is enough interest, I will gladly make it into a full blown chapter story (with a small crossover into the Stephanie Plum universe). If not, then I will leave it as it stands. Need at least five requests for it to continue, as I have a few other stories that I am working on. Thank you!**_

 _ **Lynda**_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

E _xcuse the shameless plug here._

 _Attention all Fanfiction writers and artists! The second annual Fanfiction Takeover event on FB is happening January 28-29, 2017! Yes, it's back. Once again I will be hosting it along with two lovely Co-Hosts. We had a lot of fun last year and hope to see you all again this year. This event takes place entirely on Facebook. Get to "meet and greet" some of your favorite Fanfiction participants. Ask them questions, find out some interesting facts about them. Please send me a PM if you are interested in joining us. We had nearly 200 people join us for the Q &A last year and I want to exceed that number this year._

 _Now on with your not so regularly scheduled story._

 _ **Being Loved**_

When we finally took a break it was time for dinner. My tender heart was breaking for him. He seemed so vulnerable. Luke was brought into this world to sink, but he found the strength to swim. I am so proud of him. I knew that I would love to meet his cousin at some point.

"Do you like Cuban food?" he asked.

"Honestly, I've never tried it."

"Would you like to go to a little family owned Cuban restaurant for dinner?"

"Sure, let me get changed. I don't think my PJ's and silk robe would be appropriate attire."

"I don't mind it, but they won't go for sweat pants and shirtless either. I'll meet you back down here in 45. That would give us both enough time to throw on something casual."

I bobbed my head up and down in the affirmative action. I still had my story to tell him. He didn't know about my being underground, or my "recruitment" into the FBI. I needed to be as up front with him as he was with me. I was terrified to disclose everything, but he had bared his soul to me. Maybe in telling him, I could put my own demons to rest. It would be a nice feeling to finely be free as well.

Maybe, just maybe, I could tell the secrets that I never even told Derek. The ones that haunted my nightmares. The guilt that I hide behind my colorful shield, as Rossi calls it. I was startled out of my musings just as I finished dressing.

"Preciosa, at you ready?"

"One minute, Luke." I could do this. I could give my secrets over to him. I think I may just shock him with what I have one. I'm not generally one for pants, but it's cold enough outside to wear the soft dove grey slacks and light green top. I step out into the hall and hear a sharp intake of breath.

"Penelope...wow...just. I can say that you make that out fit look amazing."

"Well, Thank you, handsome. I think I look like a stuffed sausage, but it's cold outside."

"We need to work on that self image a bit don't we, preciosa?"

"What does that mean, preciosa?"

"With a name like Garcia?"

"Never assume, love, my Dad adopted me."

"We'll need to work on that as well. It means precious."

"I think I like that one."

He helped me into his SUV, and I watched each of his muscles tic as they rippled under my hand. In a way this would be a moment of truth of sorts. A chance to let him know about me in ways that no other person has before. A chance to let myself finally be free.

He pulled up to a small family restaurant. He surprised me by coming around to my side of the car and helping me out. When he placed his hand upon my lower back to gently guide me inside, I was ready to melt like a puddle and give away state secrets. He even held out my chair for me when we were seated. A girl could get use to this.

"Will you let me order for you?" He asked as we were handed our menus. I could only nod in reply. How the hell can he still be single? He already knew my food preferences, so why not.

We mainly spoke about light-hearted things this go around. The topics of the day had already weighed heavy on both of our souls. I knew the question was coming and I wasn't surprised when he finally asked it.

"So, what made want you to join the FBI?" I couldn't help the giggle that escaped at his innocent question.

"Oh, Hotch made me all right. The man laid my choices right out there for me. Either do jail time or work for the FBI, more specifically the BAU."

Luke just kept blinking like he was waiting for the punch line to a bad joke.

"No, seriously. How did you need up working for the FBI?"

"Luke, I am serious. I'm on a watch list, and at one point I got tired of just being watched. I left little breadcrumbs for the FBI. Which is the reason I am the number two hacker in the world instead of number one. Although, I'm still not allowed in the CIA building. I make them nervous, because they know first hand that I'm number one."

When I noticed the look on his face, I wanted to find a corner to hide in and cry. It looked like he was in pain from the news. Not only wasn't I latina, but I was a federal criminal. I knew it was to good to be true.

"Listen, just take me back to your place. I'll grab my things and call a cab. We'll pretend this never happened okay? This is why I never disclose everything. Don't worry, I'll never tell you the rest and I'll never tell what you've already told me. We'll just end this as co-workers spending time getting to know each other." I twisted the napkin in my lap, keeping my eye lowered as I spoke. I didn't want him to see the tears that had gathered.

"No, no, Preciosa. That's not it at all. I was upset for you. I'm going out on a limb and thinking that Hotch arrested you." I nodded my assent. "You don't have a single criminal bone in your body, and for you to be arrested? Well, it actually pains me."

"I am a hacker. Now I just do it under the approval of a government agency. By definition I am still a criminal."

He shook his head and replied, "We'll continue this at home." He came around and pulled my seat out while holding out his hand for me to take. The swooning begins all over. I stiffen up however, when I notice a lithe woman make her way towards us. I hear Luke groan.

"Ex girlfriend? Former lover?" I whisper.

"Annoying older cousin." I hold back a chuckle as he kisses both of her cheeks. "Celia, please meet Penelope. Penelope, this is my oldest cousin and Carlos' oldest sister, Celia."

"Idiot!" She exclaimed as she smacked him in the back of the head. "You let this sweet woman meet Carlos? You need your head examined! I don't know how Stephanie puts up with him and Lester. That poor woman needs nominated for sainthood."

"Celia...Celia...," he kept trying to interrupt her diatribe. "Celia, they've never meet. This is our first official date. I've told her about him." That got through to her.

"I am so sorry! Is this the girl from work you keep telling us about? I thought you said she was a computer genius. Like that Reid boy, except with her babies."

"For the love of all that is holy woman! Your mouth gets you into way too much trouble. Wait until I tell Tia Maria. Can we just call you tomorrow and maybe set up something next week in New Jersey for all of us. We're on stand down for two weeks."

Apparently his cousin liked to talk; it took us another twenty minutes before we were on our way home. Soon we were in our pajamas sitting on the couch, all snuggled up for our next round our questions. I figured he would ask me about what I did to get arrested, but I was shocked by what he really asked.

"Why don't you talk to your brothers?"

 _A/N cliffie, I know. they drive me nuts too. Especially when I know that the story will not be getting regular updates. I'll try to be quick with this one though._

 _Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story! They mean so much. Each and every one of them._

 _Lynda_


	4. Chapter 4

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot

Being Loved

"My brother's... I'm not even sure where to start with that," I tell him.

"How about just start at the beginning?"

I tried to find the words to tell him my story. This is something that I hadn't discussed with anyone, ever. It still hurt, after all these years. I don't know where they are anymore. I deliberately don't even look for them. I would want to be part of their lives if I did. The last words, they told me was that I was no longer allowed in their lives. They said that I was never their sister.

"My Dad, our Dad, adopted me when he married my mom. I was only three. They were my big brothers, my protectors, my supports, and my biggest cheerleaders. They were my best friends.

"When I was sixteen, I started at Caltech. Believe it or not, Reid and I were there at the same time. Anyway, I had gone home to visit for my eighteenth birthday. It was the night of my birthday and I lost track of time. We had done the family thing earlier in the day. Mom and Dad went looking for me around eleven thirty that night and we're hit by a drunk driver. I got home just as the police were notifying my brothers. It was almost three in the morning by that point. My brother, Juan, told me to get my shit and get out. I never even got to go to their funerals. I tried, but Jose informed me that if I ever stepped foot near any of them again, they would press harassment charges. That none of them ever wanted me around to begin with, and they sure as hell didn't want me around ever again."

"What happens if you ever have to go to a town where they are?"

"I don't know. I hope I never find out."

"Why don't you look for them?"

"I know that if I did, I wouldn't be able to stay away. I'm trying to honor their wishes."

"Oh, Bella. If I could do anything to help med the rift I would."

"I know."

Just then his phone rang. I had to giggle at the sour face he made when he answered it.

"Yes, Carlos?"

I told him that I would be right back and felt his eyes follow me as I made my way to the bathroom. I knew there was more that I had to tell him about my past. I just wasn't sure if I was ready. I knew that part of my past could come back at any moment. I just wasn't sure how to explain it. I hadn't even made the connection until Celia mentioned the name Lester this evening. If it's who I suspect, this will definitely throw everything off balance. Each thing I reveal about myself and my past has the potential to do more harm than good.

I finish up in the bathroom and find my way to the kitchen, intent on making some hot tea for both of them. I find everything I need and am glad to see that he has some soother tea. It would calm my nerves, and I needed to be as calm as possible for this part of the conversation. The tea kettle whistled, signalling that the water was ready. As I was adding honey to both cups, Luke walked in with a small grin.

"I thought we could use some tea," I say nervously.

"I'm not actually a tea drinker. My Tia Ella is always sending them to me. She thinks it will settle my nerves."

"It actually works. I like it when I'm under stress or just need to settle myself."

"What do you need it for this evening?"

"Just to relax."

"That's a good idea. I don't think we've actually relaxed since I started at the BAU. This is exactly what we need.

"Now, I hate to change the subject, but that was my cousin Carlos. Celia opened her big mouth and called him about you and our date tonight. He would like to come down with another cousin of ours and apparently the woman he loves needs to get out of town for a bit. So, if it's okay with you tomorrow they'll be here. If not, I'll call him back right now and tell him no."

"Let me tell you something first. Then you can decide if you want me here or you want me to leave."

"You seem upset about something. Did I do something wrong?" He asked with a confused look on his face.

"No, not you. Although, you may get upset with me when I tell you everything. This is something that I've never told anyone before and I think it would be best if we get comfortable before we talk. This will be a long story."

He nodded at then wrapped his arms around my waist. Gently kissing the top of my head before guiding me into the den. We situated ourselves on the couch and I handed him his mug. I took a deep breath and looked into my tea like it held all the answers I needed to find strength. I must have been quiet for too long.

"Penelope, you can tell me anything," he said softly.

"I know, I'm just trying to put it into the right words. Give me a few minutes."

I knew that I couldn't look at him as I spoke. I leaned my head against his should and sighed.

"I told you about my parents, but I never told you what happened after I left. This is something that I never told anyone and something's that Celia said tonight clicked for me.

"After I left, I made my way to Miami. I was only eighteen and completely adrift. I had my trust from when my grandparents passed away by that point. I just needed to get away, as far away as I could.

"I met a few hackers my age and began to work with them. I started to become uncomfortable with one of them. He would often touch me and say things about my body. One night we were on the beach, it was fourth of July. We had a bon fire, food, and alcohol. This creep wouldn't leave me alone. He kept trying to corner me. There was another group partying next to us, among them were some Army Ranger's on leave before their first mission. Thankfully one of them saw what was going on and rescued me. He was there with his cousin who had a pretty little blonde Latino girl with him.

"He was my hero that night. This blonde haired, green eyed Ranger saved me."

I had to take a break and look up at him. I could tell he was trying to find a lost memory. I took another sip of my tea and leaned back into the very plush beige couch.

"He introduced himself as Lester Santos, and his cousin as Carlos. They had another cousin there, but he didn't want to be bothered by anyone."

Luke's head snapped up and I could see the memory surface. He had a blank face on that I had learned to associate with men and women who had serious military background. He was internalizing what I was telling him. He turned more towards me, took my tea and placed it on the coffee table. He took my hands.

"I know that night. Go on."

"Lester and I saw each other regularly until he left after that night. We were having fun, knowing that it wasn't a love match. We were just two lost souls looking for an anchor for a short while. They left for their mission three weeks later, and a week later I had missed my first period. My son was born nine months later. I know that I could have tracked him down easily, especially with all of the resources I have. My Aunt and Uncle agreed to keep Nelson until his thirteenth birthday, which is when my sentence ends with the feds. He will actually be coming a few months early, my aunt is ill and just can't take care of him anymore. He'll be here next week."

I had to look away. I didn't want to see the rejection I knew I would find there. I heard him clear his throat, then reach up to my chin and turned my head towards him.

"You mean that if i hadn't be pouting like a two year old, I could've met you sooner."

"Yes, but then I wouldn't have Nelson."

"Do you want to tell Lester about him?"

"I think I should. If he wants he can met him when my Uncle brings him from Trenton."

He spit out the sip of tea he had just taken from what I had just told him.

"Trenton? As in Trenton, New Jersey?" He asked incredulously.

"Is that a problem?" I replied.

"No, but that's where Lester has lived for the past eight years."

"Of course it is." I said with defeat.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot, my imagination, and the phone I use to write it all on.

 _ **Being Loved**_

I woke up the next day feeling very groggy and with many mixed emotions. Today was the day that I was going to see Lester for the first time since he left Miami for that mission. It is also the day that I will tell him about Nelson. I don't think he's going to be very happy with me, especially since Nelson lived in Trenton. Also, add in the fact that I am seeing his cousin makes this a little more _sticky_.

Roxy, Luke's dog came barreling into the room and jumped on my bed. She had a note attached to her collar. I laughed as I read it.

 _Sweetheart,_

 _Come down when you're ready. My obnoxiously early cousin's and Stephanie Plum are here. Breakfast is just waiting on you._

 _Forever yours,_

 _Luke_

I hopped into the shower and quickly got ready. I was a little unsure about what to wear. Seriously, I mean how do you dress. when meeting a former lover and telling them something as life changing as this? I went with my purple and white rockabilly dress. It was my favorite and I needed the comfort it would bring me.

Luke spied me as I made my way into the kitchen. It looked like he was trying not to laugh at the poor haggered woman with the crazy curly hair. She seemed to be ranting about morons who make he get up in the middle of the night. Her arms were gesticulating widely as she went off on the man I remember as Carlos. Lester wasn't even trying to hide his mirth at the dressing down she was giving his cousin. She reminded me of my search for coffee.

I slipped past them unnoticed and inti the kitchen to pour myself a cup as well as one for Stephanie. I put cream and sugar in both and pray that I made it the way she likes it. If she's a pampered, spoiled brat I'm hoping that it will calm her down.

I make my way into the dining room and hand her a mug. She looks startled for a moment. Then her smile lights up the entire room. She takes a tentative sip and moans.

"Sorry about that. I'm not normally this way unless my idiot ex boyfriend or ex husband is involved. This two ding bats were trying my patience. I'm Stephanie Plum by the way," she informed me.

" _Lope_?" Lester said with surprise. When I nodded he ran over and pick me up into a giant hug. Smacking a wet kiss on my forehead.

"I can't believe it's you! I never expected to see you again much less with me cousin of all people."

"Yeah, it's good to see you too."

"He is treating you right. If not you come see Unless Lester and I'll set him straight."

"He treats me like the goddess I am. Of course the Oracle of Quantico knows how to get back at people who don't."

"How the hell did you meet Luke? I mean he said he met his girlfriend at work, but he works for the FBI and the Lope I know would never work for the feds."

"Guess again Blondie. I am the technical analyst for the BAU. We both work for the alpha team."

"You're shitting me?"

"Have you ever known me to lie? Omit yes, lie no."

They all looked very impressed. Stephanie had a strange look cross her face. I was curious as to what that was all about when Luke came back in with food and more coffee. We chatted for a bit as we ate and a fresh pot of coffee was brought out. Ranger, as he is now called, took Stephanie up to one of the other spare bedrooms to rest. I had asked Lester to stay.

"Honey, do you want me to stay while you talk to him?"

"No, I need to do this on my own."

I gave me a kiss and a slight squeeze before clearing the table and heading into the kitchen to clean up the breakfast mess. Lester scrunched his eyebrows trying to figure out why I wanted to talk to him alone. It's been way too many years and we had all played getting to know you over our meal.

"What's wrong, Lope. You look like someone took away your best friend. I mean, I know it's been a long time, but you can talk to me."

"There really is only one good way to rip duct tape off an arm that's full of hair, isn't there? Juts get it over with quickly, Right?" He agreed with my comment so I put my foot in the water. "About a week after you left for that mission I found out that I was pregnant."

The silence was deafening. If a piece of cotton were to fall right now, it would destroy our eardrums. I watched as a flood of emotions run over his face, until he settled on one. Acceptance.

"Did you have they baby?" he asked hesitantly.

"I did. We have a son."

"Did you keep him? Can I meet him?"

"Yes and yes. Just you can't right now. Nelson won't be moving back with me until the middle of January. My Aunt and Uncle have been raising him for the last few years."

"Why are they raising him?"

"I managed to get myself into some trouble accidentally on purpose with my hacking. I was given two options, either serve jail time or work for the FBI. During my sentence I could not retain custody of him. My sentence is up in a few months, but with my Aunt being ill they've made an exception for him to come back home to me. He's been with them for nearly ten years. I was able to get him every summer and certain holidays."

"Oh, Lope. If I had known I would've been there for you."

"It's okay. I was more worried that you would be mad at me."

"Mad, no. You've given me a precious gift. One that I never thought I would have. Now, tell does he live? What does he like? Who does he look like? Is he smart? Does he like school?"

"His full name is Nelson Lester Garcia. Your not going to believe this part when I tell you, but he lives in Trenton. He looks like you mostly. He is very smart and plays soccer. He plays for the local rec center there. Here I have picture you can have." I began to dig through my purse that was on the counter. I never even saw the look on his face.

"Nelson Garcia is _my_ son? The Nelson Garcia who plays for Our Lady of the Saints in Trenton is my son?"

"You know him?"

"I'm his mentor at the center."

I handed him the picture of our son and he seemed to stare off into space. I began to get worried. He was being quiet. If there is one thing I know it's that a quiet Lester can either be a good thing or bad thing.

"I always thought of him as my son, it to find out that he really is makes it feel surreal. Some of the guys have even commented on how much he looks like me. My mom even said that it was like seeing me at that age all over again."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No, you told me at the perfect time. Everything happens for a reason right? I mean, I wouldn't have been that much of a dad for him until recently. My government contract just ended, so this is the best news I could get at the perfect time."

I didn't even notice that Ranger and Luke came back into the room. Luke put his hands on my shoulders and Ranger looked at the picture curiously.

"Why do you have a picture of Nelson with you Santos?" He inquired. That made Luke raise an eyebrow.

When Lester looked up to answer him I could see the tears swimming in his eyes.

"He is my son."

"I know you think of him as your son, but what do you have the picture out?"

"Carlos, he is really my son. Mine and Lope's."

 _A/N I am working away on the next chapter. I hope you are enjoying the story. Feel free to leave a review. I accept constructive criticism, but no out right bad mouth for the sake of being mean. Drop me a line and tell me what you think._

 _Thank you to everyone who has reviewed the previous chapters._


	6. Chapter 6

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot. I also own the phone that I type this on, a dog, two cats, and have a family that drives me up a wall...kids, whatcha gonna do...

 _ **Being Loved**_

The room became silent and tension filled the air. I knew this might be a bad idea, but that flash of hurt and anger came from a different person than expected. Carlos, now know as Ranger had it rolling off of him.

"Your son. He's your son, and your just now finding out about him," he growled out.

"Let it go hermano. At least I've known him for a few years, now I can tell him that he is my real child. I think we'll both be happy," Lester replied.

"No, she should have done the responsible thing and contacted you. Hell, Rachel found me."

"She didn't exactly run in our circles. It's okay, I'm just glad I now know. I've always had a connection with him, and now I understand why."

I watched Carlos nod his head in agreement. I know that I should have told him, but I just couldn't. The guilt I felt welled up in me. I couldn't hold back the sob that tore from my throat. Luke came over and wrapped his arms around me. Lester stood beside us, running his hand up and down my back.

"Shh...Lope, it's okay. I'm not mad, and I know that Nelson won't be either. I know for a fact that he'll be happy about this. I've gotten to know him over the last few years and he's considered me his Dad just as much as I've considered him my son. To know that he really is my child, one that I thought I would never have, makes everything right."

"But you misses so much. Carlos is right, I should have looked for you, especially after I became part if the FBI. I have the clearance," I informed them.

Carlos tensed up when I told them that I had the ability to look into their lives. I could see the anger flash into his eyes. He began to leave the room.

"Carlos, I don't abuse my clearance. I only look into things when it is a direct order. So unless you become a serial killer or rapist, I don't look."

He gave me a curt nod and his shoulders relaxed slightly. I turned around in Luke's arms and gave him a little smile. Lester wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks. The woman that came with them, Stephanie, came in at that moment. She noticed the picture of Nelson on the coffee table and had a confused look start, then a look of recognition when she saw me.

"My Spidey senses always told me he was Lester's son," she stated with a shrug.

My jaw just dropped, Lester and Carlos just shook their heads, and Luke started laughing. I couldn't understand how this woman could be so aware of things that she could pick up on this, while special forces military trained men didn't.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"Don't know. It's almost like how I pick up stalkers at an alarming rate. Which is why we took this impromptu vacation," she replied.

"Stalker?" I asked.

"I collect them like they're going out of style. This one, however, has someone inside Rangeman helping him. Which means I needed to get out of Dodge while Tank and Bobby find them. Hector Lopez is helping too. He's a great hacker and will find out who it is."

"Hector Lopez? You have to be kidding me," I commented.

"You know Hector?" Carlos asked growling.

"He's the sefind best hacker in the world. The Black Queen is number one, I have to know my competition," I said softly.

"I tried to find and hire the Dark Queen, but was unable to do so. She seems to have dropped off the face of the planet," replied a serious Carlos.

"She didn't drop off, she just works legally now for the FBI."

"Could you set up a meeting? I would like to hire her for my company."

"I know for a fact that there is nothing you could offer her to make he leave the FBI."

"How do you know that if I can't make my offer?"

"Because I am her."

The rooms tension ratcheted up another notch. It seems that I need to explain myself a little more to the people in the room. The sun had just barely come up and I was already loaded down with so much. I could see the confusion on everyone but Luke's faces.

Luke invited everyone inti the kitchen for more coffee and we sat at the table and I told them my story. When I was done they had a look of awe on their faces. Stephanie was the one who moved first and hugged me before whispering in my ear.

"I knew there was something special about you. Otherwise our lives wouldn't have crossed paths."

I hugged her back. There was something about the acceptance of this woman that made me feel ten feet tall. She also cut the tension in the room when her stomach growled, demanding to be fed. Carlos laughed. Luke brought out some snacks. We had had breakfast earlier, but it seems that this woman had to eat a bit more frequently than the rest of us.

"If you don't mind me asking, who is your stalker?" I inquired of Stephanie.

"I don't mind, actually, maybe you could help us. We already know that it's my cousin, Dave Brewster. He's been under investigation as a serial killer. So, Ranger wants me out of the way."

"Luke, isn't that one of the cases we're consulting on?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes, I got the file just before we were told to be on stand down," he supplied.

"We can't do much unless the local LEOs invite us in, but I can at least put my magic babies to good use."

I grabbed my laptop and began running a search. I could see what this woman meant to my old friends and I would do anything to help them

"Does the name Morelli mean anything to you?"

"That's my ex's last name, why?"

"Well, he's the one in charge of the Trenton investigation. The chief has requested, neurmous times for him to get us involved, but he keeps refusing. I think there may be a connection there," I let them know.

They sat there in stunned silence. Carlos was tensing up, Lester looked like he could split nails, and Stephanie pale about six shades. Something was really wrong with this picture.

"I'll call the TPD chief and make the arrangements to have your team invited in and Morelli removed from the case," Carlos spat out.

"No, keep Morelli involved. The closer he is to the case the more he is likely to give us without even knowing." Luke continued, "If he is involved, he will give himself away. It looks like he's worked with the FBI before and knows this. Which is why he's refusing our help. Just get them to invite us."

Carlos nodded and left to make a call. I looked at Luke and softly kissed him. I heard Stephanie sigh. I hope that I can help them pull their heads out of their asses before this case ends. They both deserve a little sunshine in their lives.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

I am taking a self-imposed break from Fanfiction. I will finish this story when I come back. I didn't just want to leave you empty handed, so I figured I would at least post one more chapter to each of my stories before I step back. I am not abandoning them, but I do need a break.

 **Being Loved**

Something felt hinkey when I looked over Morelli's background. I couldn't put my finger on it, but maybe Hector would be able to help me out. I always wanted to meet him; he is very formidable when it comes to being my competition for the hacker list.

Luke came up behind me and began rubbing my shoulders and neck. He was easing the tension that had built up there from this morning's drama. He kept rubbing and I kept clicking. The more information I received, the more concerned and confused I became.

I may not be a profiler, but I know a whackadoo when I see one. Dave Brewster and Joseph Morelli were definitely both nut jobs. Brewster seemed to have left a trail of bodies from Atlanta to Trenton totaling around fifteen with the number still climbing. The communications that I found between him and Morelli were disturbing to say the least.

Stephanie must have stood behind me, because the next thing I know I hear her yelling for Ranger and Lester. Soon they were all gathered around my laptop. Ranger began cursing in spanish and making a call to a man named Tank. I overheard him ask him to conference call in the chief of police.

"Luke, can you call your team? TPD will be inviting them in via Rangeman. We need to keep it quiet," Ranger started. "Lester, I need you to call Ella and set up all the available apartments on four for the BAU. Penelope, can we request your presence as well? I would like to have both you and Hector working together on this case."

"Actually, she's the one who's going to need to call the boss. I'm still a probie, she has seniority," replied Luke. Lester and I were both already making the necessary calls to bring in the team and meet in our bullpen.

As I hung up with Cruz I spotted Stephanie and I could see the anxiety on her face. I went over and sat down next to her. When I wrapped my arms around her she sobbed. It was like she was breaking. I wasn't sure what to do. I looked at Ranger and Lester to see if they would be of any help. Ranger had a an odd series of emotions cross his face before he slammed down a blank mask. Lester seemed just as confused as I was.

Finally Ranger came over, picked her up in his arms, and sat down cradling her to his chest. She began to calm at his softly spoken words in spanish. She started to hiccup like you do when the crying begins to abate. I could see her become stronger and more confident with each tender word. It was as though he was giving her the strength she needed to take each new step.

Once her back was completely straight she held her head high and was telling Ranger something that made him laugh lightly. Then she turned to me.

"Thank you for finding the info," she stated strongly. "I'm just having a hard time believing that man who once said he loved me and someone of my own flesh and blood could be this...this...damn, I can't even find the word to fit them."

Lester burst out laughing. I wanted to slap him senseless, but he began to stutter out why he was in hysterics. "The...t..the woman who can't shut up...is...is..at a loss for words."

Ranger and Luke joined him in his humorous jaunt. I could see it was making Stephanie pissed, but before I could say anything she stood up and was heading for the doorway.

"I'm tired of being a line item in your entertainment budget, Manoso. This was the final straw. When this is all said and done, I want you and your company out of my life," she said with a deadly glare.

We heard the soft snick of the bedroom door. I saw three very different ranges on the faces in front of me. They varied from shock to anger. Lester was shaking front his anger, his face was flushed. His fist was balling up at his side, but before he could strike out Carlos had shook himself free from his shock and went after her.

Luke pointed Lester towards the basement door, where I knew he kept a home gym. I could only assume that he was sending him there so that he could work out his aggressive feelings. I was at a complete loss as to what was going on. Someone must have said something to Stephanie in the past about being entertainment. I felt like I just had an insight into something very private. What had me concerned was the deadly calm voice that the woman spoke with.

Stephanie seemed like an emotionally driven woman and her calmness actually worried me. It was as though there was a seriousness that she had never shown these men before. I didn't have much time to think it over when my phone rang. I looked it the screen and it displayed Emily, our unit chiefs number. Luke was already talking to JJ, so that could only mean that I'm going along. That's the only time she called me when we were needed on a case.

"Hi, Pumpkin, what can I do for you?"

"Garcia, your presence on a case has been requested by a company called Rangeman in Trenton New Jersey. We need everyone to meet in the round room ASAP. Do you need me to come pick you up with the weather conditions?"

"No, I'm with Alvez. I have my go bag and will catch a ride in with him," I responded without thinking.

"Good, I hope you told him how you feel. I don't think I can handle another Morgan situation," she said cheekily.

"We've already discussed it, and when we get back. I think we may need to sign a relationship agreement."

"Understood. Now we'll have guests here so, you need to get here as quickly as possible."

"Yes my chief gumdrop. We're on our way."

Hanging up my phone, I looked at Luke and his shoulders were shaking with mirth. I could only grin. I knew for a fact that I was the only one who could get away with speaking to our unit chief in such a way.

He went to grab Les, and I went down the hall and knocked on the guest bedroom door. They must not have heard me because I could still hear them talking. It was barely above a whisper so I couldn't make out what they were saying. I knocked again and spoke loudly through the door.

"We need to get to the bureau. We'll be taking the jet to Trenton. So, bring your belongings. We'll bring someone back with us to collect your vehicle or we can have Anderson drive it back to Trenton and he'll fly home with us."

"We'll be right out," was the reply that Carlos gave me.

I went into the next room, the one that I had been staying in, and packed up the rest of my things. Unfortunately, these were all comfortable clothing, but they would have to do while we're on this case. I guess that the team would have to deal with seeing me in slacks a few times.

I heard a knock at my door and was surprised to find Carlos standing there. He seemed like that lost young man that I once knew. When we first met he had just been coming into his own. He had the cocky swagger of ego, with nothing to back it. This time, when I first saw it, I realized that he had grown into his own. Right now, though, right now he just had a haunted look on his face. His eyes were the only part that betrayed any emotions.

"Lope, can I talk with you while you finishing packing up?" He inquired.

"Sure. Come on in."

He followed me in and sat down on the bed. I waited for him to start, but after a few moments of silence I shrugged my shoulders and was putting the last few items in my bag.

"I met Stephanie, four years ago. I was only supposed to be her mentor. She was just starting out as a bond enforcement agent. It was never supposed to be anything more than that," he started speaking. The lack of confidence had me on the edge of my seat. "She quickly began to mean more to me. Over the last four years, I've ended my contract with the government and stopped working in the more dangerous aspects of my business. I had one goal in mind, and that was to make my life more stable and allow Steph in it.

"During that time I've said some rather stupid things to her. I thought i was doing it to keep her close enough so that when the time was right I could talk to her and tell her how I feel. So that I could have a future with her. I have no idea why I'm telling you any of this." He almost looked disgusted

"People tend to feel comfortable around me and tell me everything. I mean after all, who am I going to tell?" I said solemnly.

"No, I know that you would never betray any of us."

"I never thought I would hear you speak this much. You've changed for the better. Now tell me why you seem to think that there is nothing to hope for with her any longer?"

"She has finally called me on my bullshit."

"Ahh, I think I understand. Have you told her that you run love with her?"

Our conversation was interrupted before he could answer.

"He always qualifies it, or makes it a group thing. He sent me back to that asshole, Morelli. You tell me how that's loving someone. Hell, my ex-husband even did better than that and he cheated on me before I could even change my last name," came a quiet voice. "So, you tell me what a girl is gonna think. You tell me what it means when someone who's life doesn't lend itself to relationships, suddenly changes his mind. You tell me, how, after years of flirting, kissing, and occasionally sex with pushing you away makes someone think they care?"

Carlos looked like she had slapped him. The small bedroom suddenly felt four sizes too small. I went over and hugged her. I knew almost exactly what she was going through. Derek and I had a similar problem. This time I wasn't going to let someone miss out on finding love.

"I think you two really need to sit down and talk when we get to Trenton. Right now we need to get to the bureau an catch a killer and his accomplice. We need to make sure you're safe so that you and Carlos can start working on the future you both deserve."

I felt her nod into my shoulder and Carlos stiffen up. He may have a background in covert ops, but I had one in living in the underground. They needed to work this out or someone could physically get hurt at this point. I shooed them out of my room and grabbed my bag. I made a beeline for the dining room to grab my computer things. We had to get a move on fast.

I called for Luke and everyone. Quickly we piled into the two different SUV's and made it to our office. Luke took them to the round table room and I went to my office to get everything I would need. The rest of the team traveled lighter then I was able too, which was one of the many reasons I normally didn't go along. Also, I'm technically not a field agent and never plan to be. I made a mental note to put in a change of address form when we got back. I would have Nelson moving in with me and I already have a new home, I just wanted to wait until he was living with me to move there.

Derek, bless his soul, had sold me one of his properties at a dirt cheep price when they sold everything for their move to Philadelphia for Savannah's job opportunity. I was ready to be a full time mom again. I'm hoping to see Nelson and the Morgan's before we leave Trenton.

When I entered the round table room, I put my things down and JJ tossed me the remote. I took my position with my back to the screen. I wasn't sure what they had pulled together and I didn't want to see anything that may pop up in surprise. I motioned for Stephanie to come sit in front of me. I wasn't to surprised when she didn't. Carlos kept his arm around her.

"Well, my furry friends, it looks like we are going to Trenton, New Jersey. We will be headquartered at Rangeman LLC. Mr. Manoso here is the owner and he is one of our own. This may be a first for us, as we have a potential victim here before we were invited in. This is Stephanie Plum, she has a history of stalkers, fire bombings, and kidnappings. She is our priority. On the other side of her is Lester Santos, he is employed by Mr. Manoso and they are both related to Luke Alvez.

"Last week Atlanta PD sent us a file to consult on, with a potential serial killer by the name of Dave Brewster, who happens to be Ms. Plum's cousin. As you can see he is strangling his victims to the point of unconsciousness before he mutilates them, by removing the ears, nose and lips. He the dresses them up in rags, binds their arms and legs. The victims eventually succumb to their wounds or die from exposure. He leaves them in an open field. We currently have fifteen victims from Atlanta to Trenton. Three of them in the last fort eight hours."

I saw Carlos'head shoot up at the number. The anger was building in him again. Rossi was keeping one eye on him and opened his mouth to say something when Reid spoke up first.

"Why are we just being called in now? Also, if we know the name of the unsub, why are we being called in at all?"

"It is believed that Brewster has a partner in the TPD by the name of Detective Joseph Morelli. We aren't sure if anyone else is involved, but it is a very distinct possibility.

"JJ, we need to keep the press out of this one, or maybe sent them looking in the wrong direction," I finished.

"That's a good idea. JJ sent up a press release about Brewster stating that we believe he may be back in the Atlanta area. I'll call the Atlanta PD and let them know that they should keep their eyes open. We don't want to tip Detective Morelli off if he has contacts there.

"Ms. Plum, can you tell us more about your history with Detective Morelli and Mr. Brewster?" Emily asked.

I watched Stephanie sink into herself and Carlos rubbed her arm. Something about him helped her draw her strength. Once again she pulled herself upright. She seemed to have resolved to just do what needed to be done, no matter the cost.

"I've know both of them all of my life. Dave is the son of my Dad's sister. They moved to Atlanta when I was ten years old. He was always different, more so than me. In our neighborhood there is a certain expectation of how we are to behave as children and what we become as adults. The girls are to be proper at all times and always clean. We are supposed to marry well, or from our side of town, be stay at home wives and mothers. If we do work, we are to work as a teller, at the button factory, or at the personal hygiene factory. We were told to avoid the Morelli boy at all cost.

"The boys were to be rough and tumble, but clean and proper for mass every Sunday. The Morelli family had a history of alcoholic and abusive men. The boys were wild and had a game they were rumored to play called Choo-choo in their Dad's garage. I can tell you from personal experience that the rumors are true. I was grounded for a month when my Mom found out.

"When I was sixteen I had my next interaction with Joe. I was working at a local bakery and was just closing up. When he came in to get some cannoli for his mom. He talked me out of my virginity behind the eclair case. He wrote about it on several men's room walls before he left for basic training in the Navy the next day. I spent the rest of my high school years grounded. I met him again when he went FTA and he was my first high dollar assignment. For the next three years we had an on/off relationship. Where our arguments were legendary."

The room was silent we were all trying to digest what was exactly going on. I was getting ready to pose another question when Rossi spoke up through clenched teeth.

"What is Choo-choo?"

Stephanie's face turned bright red as she answered, "His finger was the train and I was the tunnel."

Everyone collectively sucked in a breathe. This woman had been molested by the man she had a long term relationship with. There was a tension that overwhelmed the room.

"What more can you tell us about Brewster? What did he do that was so different from the norm in your neighborhood?" Reid asked.

"He was too perfect. He never seemed to get dirty or in trouble. He looked, on the outside at least, to follow every rule. I knew for a fact that he would hurt the neighborhood animals and peep in windows at night. He was creepy, but no one would believe me or Mary Lou, my best friend."

"Wheels up in forty five," stated Emily as she picked up her things.

A/N So, as a way to make up for the break that I am taking I made this chapter a little extra longer. I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter, and I will look to making future ones longer as well.


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